Friendships in this modern era take on many different forms but still the most popular form of friendship is the face to face, physical friendship.
In real life when someone you know dies or gets seriously ill, it only takes a few hours for that news to spread. If you weren’t that close to someone but you knew of them, you may find out eventually but generally you will find out.
In this new era of the internet and Twitter and Facebook new types of friendships are formed. Many of these people do not meet and do not have mutual friends.
What happens when you are friends with someone online and all of a sudden, they disappear? This person who has disappeared offline is usually someone who would tweet a lot or update their blog a lot or post regular Facebook status updates.
One day they just stop all activity online.
Why?
What has happened to make this happen?
In some instances it is because the person has grown tired of this particular activity. They get bored and move onto something else but usually they will tell their online friends that they are going and wish them well.
There are other reasons though such as someone dies or is incapacitated. Some people’s online lives are secret to their friends and family. Or if friends and family are aware of their online activities, some do not know their password to log in and tell their online friends what has happened to them.
The reason I am writing this today is because there is someone who I knew online who just disappeared and I am left wondering what happened to her. This person had been sick but had not disclosed what ailment she had. She had a successful travel blog about her desire to come to Australia (she’s American). She tweeted regularly and updated her blogs Facebook profile often.
Then it all stopped.
Immediately.
No warning.
No goodbye.
Nothing.
Her accounts are all still active but there is no activity on them. It is like she has disappeared off of the face of the earth.
Ok some people go offline for a few days or maybe a week or two. Most often because they need a break or are away and cannot access the internet as much as they would want. But this person has not updated in over 6 months and I gotta tell you I am a little worried about her and I am not the only one.
A mutual online friend has tried to make contact with her as well with no luck.
Her name is Melissa Stanford and her Twitter user name is @melissa_abroad and she hasn’t tweeted since September 21, 2010. Here is her last tweet
In this tweet below, she tweeted about not being well but she did say she was getting better. Then nothing.
@Darrenc121 Sometimes being sick, lasts a long, long time. I haven't had much energy to keep on things lately. I am getting better though!—
Melissa (@Melissa_Abroad) September 21, 2010
About 10 days earlier she tweeted this;
checks in. I haven't been feeling well guys. been sleeping a lot. not much to say right now. Thanks for your concern!—
Melissa (@Melissa_Abroad) September 11, 2010
You know from this that something was up. I’m just not sure what it is/was.
Melissa’s twitter profile was pretty busy. She followed 431 people and was followed by 617. This is a pretty good number for a non celeb. She had tweeted 2,296 times which makes her a moderate user. At this rate of tweets and followers you are considered to be a regular tweeter and you generally don’t just stop.
Her Facebook page has not been updated since August 25, 2010 either.
Her website, www.theinnocentabroad.com has recently been unavailable but when I last checked to see if Melissa was around about a month ago it was still up and running albeit with no new activity since August, 2010. It is possible that Melissa has closed it down but why didn’t she also close down her Twitter and Facebook pages? I think the reason the webpage is no longer accessible is because the account has not been renewed and the ISP has closed it. That’s my gut feel. Twitter and Facebook are both free so with no bills to be paid there is no need to close them down.
I asked a mutual Twitter friend @brookeschoenman if she had heard from Melissa and she said she hadn’t either but would send her an email as she had her address. As of today, which is a month later, still no reply.
Melissa’s other online profiles are untouched as well including LinkedIn and Digg.
Melissa has dropped off of the online planet and she did it rapidly.
I am usually an optimistic person but I am afraid the worst has happened. I have no evidence to prove otherwise but my gut feeling is that Melissa has passed away or is totally and permanently incapacitated. I really hope I am wrong.
So if anyone who is reading this knows Melissa Stanford from Nevada in the United States, can you please shed some light on what has happened to her? Sure we aren’t face to face friends, but we are all friends in a different form and we want to know what has happened to our lovely friend, Melissa.
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UPDATE (2 May 2011)
Great news. A friend of Melissa’s saw this post and made contact and provided Melissa’s new email address.
After corresponding via email, and in accordance with Melissa’s request, all I can say is that she is alive, which is the best news possible.
Many thanks to everyone who has made a comment or forwarded this post around in an effort to find out what happened to Melissa. Luckily this time, the outcome is a positive one.
Jack
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Hmm… I remember Melissa! Sadly, I have no idea where she’s gone.
This is something I have thought about in the past- what would happen to my blog if I were incapacitated. I do hope you guys find out what happened to her, and that she’s okay wherever she is.
Thanks Stephanie. It’s also something I have thought about. Only 2 people who I know in RL follow me on Twitter. How would everyone know but then again, who says they would even care! I hope Melissa knows/knew she was cared about enough by a lot of people that we do care.
Thank you for RTing to your followers and for leaving a comment. That was very nice of you.
Jack
Certainly sounds like an unusual situation. I’d love to think it’s nothing, but I have to agree that it seems unlikely.
Have you tried contacting any FB groups she may have been a member of? Just a thought.
Hi Ericka
Thanks. Her Facebook is just a ‘like’ one for her blog and not her personal one so hard to see what she was involved in.
It doesn’t look good.
Thanks for commenting.
Jack
Hi Jack,
I found this post through Stephanie’s Twitter feed.
I’m actually from Reno – which is one of those towns where everyone is connected through maybe two degrees of separation. I don’t know Melissa, but I probably know someone who does. I can do a little digging and see if I can find out where she is.
Thanks Katrina, that would be great.
Jack, James (@JCDaydream) is the last person I know that spoke with her – that was after her last tweet you posted but he hasn’t heard anything in months either. I wrote her several times after she went offline, only hearing from her once. Have been concerned as well…hope this post helps us find more info.
Hi Jack.
I hope someone can provide you with details as to what happened to Melissa to bring a sense of closure to you. I agree: sounds like she died.
All the best,
Joanna G.
Well we all hope she didn’t. There are a lot of people who followed her on Twitter who hope she is ok. Not just me. I hope this article will help with that.
Thanks Joanna.
Hi Jack, I googled Melissa Stanford Nevada and came up with …Melissa Stanford, Hair Designer is a full service salon which caters to the total treatment of men and women, located in Serving, Reno NV.
Location: Serving, Reno, NV 89501 » Map
Email: melstan775@msn.com
Phone number: 775 287 3233
Business Hours:
Mon – Fri: 9:00 AM – 7:00 PM
Sat: 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Sun: Closed.
* Please call at 775 287 3233 to at an appoitment today…….thought it was worth mentioning in case you hadn’t seen it. May or may not be the same one.
She also seems to have been a guest blogger on August 30th at http://cheapoair.typepad.com/guest-travel-blog/2010/08/northern-nevada-experience-the-great-outdoors.html maybe that website has someone who knows her personally. Or maybe email a local newspaper in her area and see if they can come up with something. Hope you can find good news
Thanks Lynda. There is so much info out there it is hard to know what is what. It appears she has a common name.
Good idea re the local paper. Will try that angle.
Jack
Hi Jack,
No luck so far. I checked our local paper (Reno Gazette Journal) and theres no obit there. I also did a Spokeo search and three results came up for NV – maybe you can try calling those numbers?
Thanks Katrina. Am going to do some investigating this weekend.
Maybe she is out there and just offline.
Thanks for your help!
J.
Hey, I know this is a little morbid, but I did a Legacy.com obit search for her and came up empty — she appears to be alive. Maybe just went off the radar due to personal or health problems.
Hi Lauren
I didn’t even know you could do that. It is a popular name though. Do you need her date of birth? I don’t have it though if so.
From other travel postings she’s from Fernley NV and the hairdressing salon is also there. She seems to have quite a lot of family in the area. If you wanted to chase it that far then I guess you could lookup her ph number and call.
I did a quick check of the local paper and noone by that name is listed in the obits. I agree with Lauren that she’s gone off the radar.
I have someone who will log in and make a post for me on facebook, twitter etc if I fall off my perch unexpectedly.
Thanks for that. Will do some more investigating this weekend.
Seriously considering giving someone by log in details too.
There was an interesting article in Miller McCune about your online legacy after you die. I’m trying to find it but can’t, but I’ll post the link as soon as I do.
I’m pleased to hear she is ‘OK’.
Having made comments on my blog and contributed a tale about Mount Tarrengower, Maldon, Victoria I too was concerned when the link to her website:
http://www.theinnocentabroad.com came up as broken, which in the throws of investigating led me to your post!
It’s interesting how deep relationships, that you’d think were fleeting tweeting passing in the stream relationships in fact develop to the point you really do miss someone’s presence when they ‘disappear’.
Thanks for the investigative work ~
And I look forward to interacting with Melissa again when the time for her is right
As do I.
Thanks for making a comment, Linda. Be safe.
Jack
I went to Cosmetology school with Melissa in Reno, NV. She was getting her License so that she could eventually move to Australia. She is the most caring, loving sweetest person I have ever met. She never judged you based on appearances, and one day when I was feeling down she wrote me a letter about the “Top Ten Reasons why Rachel Rocks.” I have been searching for her since she stopped using her MySpace. Her Myspace account still exists as well. I haven’t been able to get into contact with her, and I would LOVE to speak with her, if anyone can help me out in contacting her as well, I would much appreciate it. I have several photos of Melissa and I when we went out one time. I noticed she has NO photos at all on the web. She is beautiful. Rachel – mixie3stp@hotmail.com
Hi Rachel
I have sent her a message with your details. Hopefully she gets in contact with you. Take care.
Jack